Our Family's 10 Guiding Principles
"If you don't stand for something then you'll fall for anything."
Amen! I remember the emotion of my teenage years so vividly.
You know: The wanting to "be liked", "fit-in", "people-please"...
My parents would ALWAYS tell me,
"Candace, if you don't stand for something, then you'll fall for anything."
That has resonated with the deepest part of my soul for years! I don't want to be the person who falls for anything. I don't want my kids to just go with the flow because that’s what the world is demanding. We desperately NEED leaders!
Our business, Advocare, has 10 guiding principles. When talking to a prospective customer/teammate, I always like to share the 10 guiding principles with them, to help them see if the core values of the business are in-alignment with that person—if this "marriage", so to speak, would be a good fit for them.
We loved this concept so much that we adopted the idea of having CORE principles for our family. This is what we came up with.
This is what the Oliver family stands for.
These are our 10 guiding principles.
It is not just a pretty piece of art to look at and get familiar with. We tell all of our children, this is what we stand for as a unit.
WORDS have power.
I NEVER want the world to tell them who they are, so we are helping them shape what they stand for.
Ultimately, we believe it is our Creator who tells us who we are, and we get our identity through God. These are our families divinely-inspired principles.
Each week, we have the boys pick one principle to focus on and apply.
At the dinner table each night when we are doing our "highs and lows", (what was their high for the day, and if they had a low, what was it) we ask them how they applied the principle and a tangible example.
It is POWERFUL! Bryan and I are growing with our kids in this journey.
If you like these, I encourage you to copy them (matter-of-fact, we copied several of these from some of our great friends because we loved this concept so much) and put them up on the walls in your home.
For the longest time, I had ours printed on computer paper and I taped it in all the bathrooms. When we bought a home this last year, I decided it was time to have them beautifully etched in wood to put up in the house!
Oliver Family Core Values and Guiding Principles
We seek to honor and please God above all else. (Glorify Him in all we do)
We honor our family unit and always stick together
We are life giving. we are kind, we are encouraging, and we look for lonely people
We have grace, forgiveness and compassion for others
We choose to be grateful in all things
We do what we say we're going to do when we say we'll do it, and do it the way its supposed to be done
We speak life into others and ourselves
We honor our word and treat it as our bond
We do complete work in all things we engage
We seek to continually grow spiritually, physically, mentally and financially for the sake of being difference makers.
Our Core Values In-Action:
Here’s a few examples of how we talk to our kids with the principles in mind:
(We always have the mindset that we are raising champion men and women)
If negativity, fighting /bickering happens... We remind them that “We speak life into others and ourselves.” So, what does that look like? THERE is NO SHAME, we say, "Lets try that again, how can you use your words to be life-giving."
If I see that the boys beds are "made" aka they throw blankets on top of the bed and call it good... I ask, “Was this done with excellence? Are you doing complete work (7) in this bed making?” Usually their response is "YES". LOL! We are working on it.
I say, “Come on. I know if you put a little effort in you can dominate the bed making.” I will have them re-do it. (Note: I want to do it myself, but I would rob them of the process and experience of doing it themselves if I did.)We ask them who they can include at recess... to have an eye to search for lonely people (3)
When anyone starts bickering or being upset (including Bryan and myself) we pause and say, “Wait, (4) we have grace and compassion and forgiveness towards others. We must start in the home!!!”